Tips for Teens

I once heard a quote that was something like "Never write anything in your diary that you wouldn't want your best friend to read, and never do anything in your life that you couldn't write in your diary." I remember thinking that was kind of neat. And it's a good way to look at life these days.

Growing up in the generation you're in, there's a lot of pressure to conform. This can be said of every generation-and each generation faces its defining crazes and challenges. One of yours seems to be the Internet. Everybody's on it: for IM, for email, for school work, for recreation, for blogging. For posting information and defining themselves to the world. Sound familiar??

Here's a thought... What if you took that above quote (or at least part of it) and changed it to read: "Never post anything on the Internet that you wouldn't want your parents to see." Gulp. Now think about what you might have online-on MySpace or Facebook or Xanga or Live Journal or Webshots any other blogging site. Double gulp. Does that thought have you running for your privacy settings??

Well here's the thing guys... If you post it on the Internet, anyone can see it, even your parents (technologically inept though they may be... J) If you post on the Internet your parents can see if you lied about your age, your teachers can see if you posed in inappropriate pictures, your college admissions officers and future employees can see the references your friend made to the wild party you hosted last week while your parents were away... I once found pictures online of my sister's friends drinking beer in our parents' garage!! She's just lucky I'm the one that found them!! A kid I know (who is in college and of legal drinking age) had cops show up at his house hours before a party mentioned on Facebook was even supposed to start... You get the picture!!!

Unfortunately, that's not it. Lurking out there in Cyberspace there are dangers: MySpace dangers, Xanga dangers, Facebook dangers, etc. There are gross, awful people online (and everywhere) that are looking for young and vulnerable people to take advantage of... Don't let them take advantage of you, but more importantly: don't let them find you. Yes, you're probably smarter than more mature than adults these days give you credit for, so I'm not going to insult you by talking to you like children. But no, you're not invincible. So you have to be careful.

There's a few easy ways to do this:

My golden rule for MySpace use: Don't post anything online that you wouldn't want your parent/grandparent/teacher/coach/youth leader/boss/mentor to see. Would Granny have a heart attack if she saw you posing suggestively in your bikini?? Don't post it. Would the coach bench you if s/he saw you chugging a beer at last weekend's party?? Don't post it. Would your parents or parental figures ground you for life if they saw what your best friend posted on your message board or wall?? Erase it. Simple as that.
Don't post anything that would allow someone sketchy to find you: last name, address, phone number, screen-name, school, sports team, etc. This step alone will help you to avoid the MySpace danger zone. (And other blogging sites.) Check out the privacy settings on your blogging site. Some will only allow invited users to view your profile, photos, blog, whatever. This is a great thing.
If you're heeding rule 3, be careful who you accept as friends. They say you can never have too many, but make sure you know who they actually are.
Be considerate of what you're posting. Pictures are great, but make sure the people photographed don't mind having their picture online.
My (other) sister posted some very cute pictures of my little girl so that she could show off her niece to her friends, but didn't give me a heads-up. And though I love my little sis-she got an earful. I don't want pictures of my daughter online. Some of your friends (or their parents!!) might feel the same way.
You have one reputation. Protect it. The way you represent yourself (online and in the real world) will directly impact how people view you.
If you think something fishy is going on-if you or a friend are being harassed by a stranger or a peer-tell someone!! You will not be ratting them out-you will not suffer social exile-you might be saving someone's life or future.

Did you notice that nowhere in these suggestions did I mention getting rid of your sites?? That's because you shouldn't have to (unless your parents tell you to and then I lose all authority). As long as you are safe and smart and mindful of how you are representing yourself to the whole world... go ahead and enjoy this amazing technology that your parents didn't have access to growing up. (Of course, back in the Ice Age computers wouldn't have fared too well.)

In high school, my friends used to make fun of me because every time we went anywhere my mom would say "Okay kids, be safety smart!" At which, we would roll our eyes and groan. But her heart was in the right place and she was looking out for us. Just as your parents are looking out for you. And though I'm not quite comfortable adopting my mother's little sayings yet (I'm sure I'll get there sooner than I'd like to think), I'll leave it at this.... If my mother were here, writing this blog, she'd say: "Okay kids, be safety smart."